Of Nights
by Rabid Turtle
Summary: Small moments between two stubborn creatures. It's what they don't say that matters. Fuugenesque drabbles
1. Of Nights

Just some drabbles I feel the need to inflict upon you all. Enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Samurai Champloo because I am just not cool like that.

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Choose, you say.  
Choose the one I will give to you. The one that will take you away.

Choose as if they were some type of good that I can barter with. As if they don't have any say in the matter. As if I could choose between my right hand and my left. How could ask this of me? How dare you? You have no right, you have no right to tear our makeshift home apart with such a demand. All that we have are each other. _How could you Sara? _ I am only fifteen and yet I am not some stupid little girl. I know that you could never be what I am to them, since you are blind in more ways than one. _And you don't even know it._

If Jin walked by your side, how would you know that he likes eel more so than fish and that when he is full from eating he always folds his arms back into the sleeves of his kimono? How would you know that he wipes his glasses off counterclockwise, first with the left lens and then the other? How could you differentiate the meanings between his monosyllables? Or his silences? Could you even protect him from his loneliness, from his quiet despair of finding something to fight for, even if he _still_ has no idea that he is so vulnerable because of these things?

But if it was Mugen…if I let…_Mugen_. Did you know that if you hit him in the right places he shuts up with his infernal snoring? Have you any idea what a total JERK he is when it comes to bimbo women and their big boobs? Can you not hear the total garbage that comes out of his mouth sometimes? The things that he calls me?? How he just refuses to keep clean unless I bug him about it until he finally scrubs some water on him, like it pains him to do it? How I sometimes feel like I just want to throttle some common decency into him? How infuriating his smirk is when he does something completely ridiculous and stupid?!

Are you aware that Mugen has always been the first one to come and save me? Always. _Always._ Can you not understand that?

It is time for now it is morning and I have had no sleep. You, Jin, and Mugen are waiting for my answer. In my heart I know that from now on everything will be different between us because _I chose _one over the other. But now that I think about it, maybe I have no choice at all. I think you have always known which one I will give to you Sara, since you know what it means to love. I can't help it. It's just not fair.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you are not as blind as I say. Maybe you are not blind at all.


	2. Suffer

Hello, all! Drabbles are so fun to write since I am such a _lazy_ person. Hopefully, Mugen is somewhat in character.  
Reviews are appreciated and rejoiced over.

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When I close my eyes, I see you.

It fuckin' pisses me off. What the hell is a skinny-ass doing in my head? You're not even naked. You're not even talking dirty. You're just…there.

I don't get it.

I don't even like you…that much.

It's late enough to where the moon is lighting up our campsite so I can see you and Fish-face sleeping. You've somehow rolled out of your bedding, sprawled out in the dirt with a stupid smile on your face. I think you are drooling too. Ha, who is the filthy one now, bitch??

Bitch. When you aren't yapping away 'bout some stupid shit, or trying to hit me, or chasing that fucking squirrel thing around, like right now I guess, you look kinda…small. Tiny even. This is how you always are when I close my eyes. How the fuck are you so big when you're awake? I bet you weigh nothing. I bet I could throw you across the field right now and hit that old tree over there if I wanted to. But I don't want to...only because you'd probably cry and squeal and try to hit me a lot and then I would never get any sleep.

I just…I just want you out of my head.

Or if that won't happen I want you at least to be naked so all this shit would make sense.


	3. Cur

Hmm, as Spring Break is coming to an end, my wickedly fast updates will soon share the same fate. School, you are the death of me!

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"Aww, what a cute puppy!" 

Fuu, obviously in love with the flea bitten ball of fluff, picks up the mongrel in front of her as if it were her long lost child. The Ryukyuan looks on curiously, in spite of himself.

I sigh. Oh gods, look what I have been brought down to. That it has come to this. Please, _please…_don't make me herd a dog around along with the girl and the irritant of a man. I absolutely _refuse_.

"Fuu, I am sorry but we must hurry as it is almost dark and the inns in this part of town cannot safely stay open late. There is no place for the dog there," I gesture at the setting sun. Oh gods, let her buy that. For the sake of my sanity, let her buy that.

I watch as she regretfully digests my words, being very careful to place the mutt back on its feet. We watch as it wags its tail sadly and scampers away down an alley.

"Too bad, I always have liked dogs, especially when they are cute like me," she smiles at us.

The Ryukyuan stretches and tucks his hands behind his head, "Yeah, too bad that we couldn't leave you here and take the mutt. I bet it's a lot less yappy. Probably smells better too."

Again, the two begin their customary teasing. Again, I sigh and look up at the soon-to-be-dark sky. _Children._

---

The next day, as we are walking down the street to continue our journey, we see the same dog one more time. There is a gaggle of unwashed children huddled around the body. They are giggling and seem to be bragging to each other. Some of them were still holding the rocks in their hands.

For the dog it had not been a clean death.

Fuu stops.

Suddenly she is a screaming and wild, chasing the children away, calling them demons, calling them murderers. The Ryukyuan and I watch, silent. It would be wrong of us to interfere in what is hers.When they have all scattered she drops to her knees in front of the corpse and reaches out to touch the blood-matted fur. She is weeping. Fuu is weeping.

The Ryukyuan goes to her. I bet the he doesn't even know why he suddenly cares about this slip of a girl. I bet he doesn't even know the words for it. Fool, fool. Lovesick fool.

Looking out into the horizon he gruffly clears his throat. "Hey Fuu, it's…just a dog you know. Just a fuckin' mutt. It's not like it belonged to someone or ever was cared for. It's probably had been on it's own since it was born. This is just what happens to things like that. So stop acting like it was part of your own god damned family, okay? No reason to waste your tears on it. It's dead."

He finally looks down at her and sees that she is looking at him with a different sort of glimmer in her eyes that cannot be associated with her tears. I almost laugh when I see him flinch a little. _Children._

"No, Mugen you're wrong. I cared. I still do. Even a mutt deserves to be loved. Everything does," her voice is still choked with tears.

After leaving one last kiss on the dog's broken face, Fuu gets up and begins to walk, leaving the strangely silent Mugen behind.

**_End _**

I am quite pleased with this one. Probably because I totally see Jin, being the oldest and the most…mature, playing the part of a stoic father figure while surrounded by his squabbling children. Unfortunately for him, it is very giggle inducing. And being the most intuitive and observant character of the trio he would obviously see the budding attraction between the other two way before Mugen and Fuu ever noticed it. Jin is such a smart man and I love torturing him so. :D

And thank you my beloved reviewers! You are all wonderful!


	4. Wide Eyed

School tomorrow...exactly why I need to stay up! -- Anyway, this drabble came about due to my irritation with people who call Mugen unintelligent. He is NOT. gah!

Review and make me happy!

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I ain't stupid just cause I'm not like him, you know.

So what if he has the impeccable manners. So what if he follows his samurai bushido shit. So what if he can talk all high-minded and deep. So what if people don't automatically distrust him like they do me.

All those things… they only make him weak. People know what to expect from him. It's like you know what cards he'll play when, how, and where. A _samurai_, a _ronin_…meh. He walks a road laid down for him by his ancestors, one that he won't leave no matter how much the world passes him by. He's a dying breed, girl, too lost in the past to see beyond the tip of his nose.

You think I survived the hell of Ryukyu cause of 'manners'? You think the men there ask you politely if you are ready to get cut up? You think the guards mind if the fight is between twenty fuckers with guns against one kid? You think they give a shit if that's your mother their raping?

That's why I am still alive. I am unexpected. I'm a fuckin' slap to the face. People don't know whether I like 'em or if I'm about to stab them in the back and rob their corpses. They can't read me. They don't know how.

My path is my own and has nothing to do with shit-speeches about 'honor' or 'duty'.  
So how does that measure up to your standards, little girl? You ready to open your eyes and really see me now?


	5. For What is Proper

Hey guys! Sorry about the little glitch in updating. Sadly, I have somehow hurt my...tendon?...elbow..? in my left arm, probably due to excessive amounts of computer time so I had to hold off for a while. But never fear, I grit through the pain! So, whimpering heroically I give you Number Five. Enjoy...and review:)

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I wonder what my mother would think if she knew. Even until the very end she was still so respectable. What would she say if she saw that I was wandering all over Japan with two desperately violent men? I hope that I can explain to her my reasons. I hope she doesn't hate me for looking for the man that so long ago left her. I hope she isn't scared for me.

That's one thing that I don't understand. I'm not afraid of them. I should be. I have seen so much death and hurt and pain come from their hands that I should be a screaming terrified mess. How many bodies skewered, how many faces destroyed beyond recognition, how much blood have I seen spurting from broken bodies to taint everything in sight? I should have let Mugen and Jin break their promise to me a long time ago, as soon as I had seen what exactly they are capable of. But I don't. They have become so familiar that the thought of them actually hurting me is laughable. I don't think too many people could understand that. I am sure my mother wouldn't. How could I trust such killers? But I do, I am proud of them.

Ha, and what is worse, what would just rub salt in my mother's wounds if she knew, is that I am in love. And not only am I in love (a serious crime in my mother's eyes for what man's affection had ever been kind to her?) but I love a convict, a man who has killed more people than the years he's been alive and who will never be deemed acceptable in the eyes of society. There is no way that my life will be a respectable and conventional one now. I cannot leave this strange path that I have chosen.

My companions and I live as we must. Whether or not our way is appropriate or even law-abiding is unimportant. The way people are connected in this world, the way we just _are_, once you get past all the bruises and scars, really is quite beautiful. My only wish is that she understands this

And fortunately, my mother always was one to appreciate beauty.


	6. Moment, Part I

I am ashamed...ASHAMED I SAY! But life got hard and I got lazy. This isn't the greatest but I felt that if I at least tried to put something up, it might kick start some creativity...? Well, enjoy. If you can. :-D

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I'm going to die. I am really going to die. These men are going to kill me.

There is nothing else to be said. I can't think straight. The man with the scythe is talking again but none of his words reach my ears. I can't bear to look at him for long, my body can't bear it. He…he…don't think of it. It didn't happen if I don't think of it.

But now he speaks of Mugen. Like an arrow, his name shoots out of that man's mouth and pins me down harder than the bonds around my waist ever could. _Mugen_. It dawns on me that, again, I am being used as bait. I could almost laugh, or cry, because I know, _I know,_ this time won't be the same as in the past. That these stupid fools are wasting their energy and my life for nothing.

_They won't come for me. He won't come for me. _

I had already let them go. They had fulfilled their promise to me and _I had let him go_. Mugen was long gone, and I am going to die here. Alone, unfinished.

Angrily I tell the man standing before me that his plan will not work, that Mugen will not come. He starts to beat me and I know that this is it. This is the end. I am going to die, I am dying, and Mugen will never know. My journey, my sunflower samurai, all of it, this is how it will end, in some ruined Christian church on an island that few know about. _This is how it ends._

But I will not cry, my friends have taught me that much. I will not give these bastards the pleasure of seeing me weak and helpless (_but oh, I am, I am_).

The world stops and ends and dances before my eyes. Footsteps. My heart is beating in time to the sound, my blood is surging through my body, I cannot breathe. Footsteps. The sun is shining on the ocean. Seagulls are cackling to each other while wheeling around in the sky. It is a beautiful day. _I know those footsteps._

In time, the footsteps become more than sound and Mugen is slouching before us, wet, tired, quiet. There is no show of "toughness", no acts of belligerence, nothing of what I know Mugen to be. He's here though. My heart beats painfully.

_  
He's here_.


	7. Moment, Part II

Hopefully this isn't too squishy for Mugen...eh. Thanks again to all my reviewers, I really appreciate you guys.

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It was her eyes that told me. Her eyes showed me everything.

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Again some fucker has taken her off somewhere and I have to go save her ass from dying. I'm getting real tired of this. I'm getting real tired of cutting the same weak-ass punks up over and over again. I'm getting real tired of seeing her face all squished up from being scared. She looks like a little kid when she's scared. I hate that.

This time is a little different though. I'm tired. And wet. What Jin said to me before I left him keeps on repeating in my head over and over again, like a spell you hear about in stories. It's dizzying.

"_Protect Fuu. Protect Fuu. Protect Fuu." _

Fuu. I look at her. He's been hitting her, I can tell. He's even tied her up. That doesn't make me pissed though. Well, not real pissed. It's her eyes. She's fucking surprised to see me standing here, shocked even. My insides throb, just once, real quick.

That hurts. That fucking _hurts._

And then I'm not pissed anymore. Just…just tired. She doesn't even think I would come and help her out. Thinks that I will just dump her when I can and leave her to die in some shit hole. Yeah, well, maybe I should. (_Protect Fuu. Protect Fuu. Protect Fuu. It's endless; I can't get her out of my head._)

I realize that the guy with a scythe has been blabbering on about some revenge shit. God damn, every single one of them, the same type of guy. Finally he gets down to business and threatens to cut off Fuu's head. I tell him to shut up. No one tells me how I feel about some girl. Fucker. If I feel like caring about Fuu, no one else has a damn say in the matter. And anyways, I don't have to care about her to not want her dead. I just…I just want her…I want her to not be amazed when I do happen to save her life. (_Protect her, protect Fuu…)_

I throw my sword, cutting Fuu's ropes and burying the blade into the wooden stake. She needs to get out of here and find her samurai. She needs to get out of here, but not because she still has that wild, shocked expression on her face. That has nothing to do with it. I just don't want us to have gone on this long-ass journey for nothing.

She won't, she says. She can't leave me, she says. Another throbbing feeling, another instant moment of not breathing. What the fuck is she doing to me? Fuck, fuck, I just want her to go away. I yell at her, I want to hurt her like she's hurting me, and so I say, so I say…

"Have some faith in me, will ya?"

Eyes widening, she turns to leave, unsure, afraid. Whatever it is inside me, fuck it's shrieking, raging, this hurts, this_ hurts (oh protect her, protect her…)_ and then I look to her face and I know. _I know._

Her eyes, they show me everything.


	8. Wounds

**Yay! I finally finished another one! Again, reviews are awesome and I love every one of you guys! I was kinda floundering on where to take this one...tell me what you think of it. **

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It was quiet here, much like the nights of my childhood at the dojo. All would be asleep except for me, listening to the other's breathing, waiting for exhaustion to claim me. Peace would reign in those after-hours of the night. One would have never suspected what violence would erupt when daylight broke the next day.

I roll onto my side, grimacing from the pain that my new wounds bring. New wounds, old wounds, always a cycle of pain and healing. I know this to be true. I look out into the dim twilight where my two companions are sleeping for even now constant surveillance of the area is useful and wise. Hmph, they are snoring in unison, really. The girl murmurs in her sleep; a tiny frown visits her face.

What I would give to make her worries go away. Turning on my back, wincing again, I view the stars shining down on us.

Fuu. I sigh. I owe her everything. My…my life, my sword, everything. I remember that day, that moment in fighting Kariya in which I told him, I told _her_, that I had a reason, a reason to fight, _to protect_. In all my days of loneliness and seclusion I have found nothing that gave me more joy. These days of living with Fuu and Mugen, they are more meaningful to me than all the years of the dojo.

"Hey…Jin…What are you doing up?"

Fuu, rubbing her eyes and yawning in an unladylike way, crawls over to me sleepily and I am hit with memories of her tenderly treating Mugen and I after the final fight. She still has not lost the pallor of her skin and the faint bags under her eyes from the long nights of tending to us.

"Hn, I am looking at the stars."

She sits there next to me and is content to let the silence continue between us. The sky is so full of stars tonight. The sky is so full.

"Fuu."

She blinks as if awakening from deep thought and turns to look at me. With the starlight on her face she looks so young and pure and nothing like the strong fiery woman I know her to be.

"We are splitting up after tonight, aren't we?"

Surprised, she looks searchingly into my face and then furtively rests her gaze on the sleeping form of Mugen.

"Yes."

"May I ask why?"

A silence. She turns her face away from me and looks out into the dark horizon. Silence. But I sit up, slowly and patient, for I know the complexities of silence and I know Fuu.

"…Because…well because the journey's over. Because we finished what we set out to do and I don't need to keep you guys any more. Because…well…"

She hugs her legs to her torso. I know this gesture of Fuu's, I know she wishes to say something but doesn't know how. I look up at the sky. Oh, the stars are so bright tonight.

"Because you love him?"

Abruptly, Fuu looks at me, her big brown eyes searching mine, scared, embarrassed.

A sigh. "Yes." A soft whisper. "Yes, I love him."

And she looks at me with all the confusion and despair a lovesick fifteen-year-old girl can possess. I do not know how to help her. If only I could, if only I knew how to end her hurt, to heal her as she did us. My hand then seems to take on a life of its own and I watch in horror has it begins to pat Fuu's shoulder in what I hope is a soothing manner. Aghast at my own presumption I choke on any words that might have been said.

But it is enough. She smiles softly and her confusion slowly slips away from her expression.

"Jin." A smile. A nod.

As I lay back down I listen to her breathing as it steadies out and begins the rhythmic sounds of sleep. But something is different. Something has changed. Curiously, I only hear the soft snore of the girl. Curious.


	9. Chimera

**As this is sorta kinda a transition drabble I used third person because first person was giving me a headache and wasn't doing what I wanted it to do. People keep asking if I am closing to finishing _Of Nights_. Ha! I'm just getting started kids! You're stuck with me for a while more at least! Reviews make me happy...you know you want to!**

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The night is still.

The town is dusty, run down, and yet life still goes on. Outside the stars still shine brightly and the moon lingers in the sky. A certain teahouse is busy tonight, crammed packed with the regulars and wandering men alike. The night is still and yet life goes on.

There is a certain waitress in the teahouse. She is new and is tiny but already the men know not to hit on her because she can rip off heads with her tongue. She isn't graceful and is prone to drop things on patrons but the proprietor puts up with her because she is caring and young and alone. He shrugs. He knows he has too soft a heart.

She works hard and often works late, like tonight, like yesterday. She is said to be beautiful. She is beautiful, but not because of her body or even her face. The men aren't sure why she is what she is. It might have to do with the way her eyes sparkle like broken glass or the way her head tilts back when she laughs. It might be because she is Fuu and caring and young and alone.

Outside, there is a man. He is tall and strong and wiry and desperate. He is also young and alone. Outside, this man spits on the ground and looks up at the still night sky and wonders about things he doesn't understand. He gives the moon one last scowl, spits one more time, and turns to enter the building. His eyes search for Fuu.

In the midst of all those people, all that noise and chatter and filthy bodies and _life_, she hears him come in. She turns from a businessman who, seconds ago, was giving her his order, she turns and gazes at this man who has come inside, a man whom she has not seen in a month. Maybe two.

Deja vu. She has lived this moment before she thinks. She has seen the way this man walks into teahouses. She walks up to him and feels her heart breaking. Irrationally, she wonders how she will ever clean up all the shattered pieces from off the floor.

He watches this waitress, the object that has appeared unbidden in his mind's eye whenever he his eyes close, walk towards him. He is not thinking of anything in particular now. He is not even exactly sure why he is here, why he had left the sake and the brawling and the women of the red light district in a faraway city to come to this small and nameless town. But he did. He's here

When she is an arm's distance away from him, Fuu stops and looks up at this man's face, a face she had thought she had left behind. Fuu is silent. He looks back at her.

"Water," he says and she smiles.


	10. Anamnesis

I have no excuse for the lateness of this update. You all have my permission to hate me. And this is a very fluffy update so I am just apologizing now….but enjoy it anyway just to spite me!

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He remembers those days, with the fierce wind in his face, the gulls cackling and whirling around the beach, the fire and the blood. He remembers growing up with Mukuro and Kohza and the others who didn't survive long. Not many did. The crow-men knew what Ryukyu was.

Mugen watches the campfire burn and Fuu listens to his voice, her doe-like eyes settled on his face.

He remembers the ocean, with her siren call. The way you learned to tell when her mood was changing, when it was time to sail and when it was time to kiss your ass goodbye. He remembers the days of piracy, Mukuro and his bloodthirsty grin, the feeling that _this was life_. Raw. Real.

Mugen remembers being held down by the guards while the government officials gave him his blue-banned tattoos. He was lucky. Others left without their arm. The screams of the prisoners that day still reverberate in his memory. He watches the girl as she, horrified, tries to imagine how it was. How it will always be.

He remembers the towns he has been to, the sights he's seen, and the people he's sliced. The blood and glory of it all. Strangely, he does not speak of the women he's bedded. Or maybe not so strange he thinks, looking at his young traveling companion and seeing how she drinks up his every word. Some things are not worth remembering.

When there is nothing left to look back on, at least for tonight, the two sit back and watch the fire burn itself out. In time, the girl turns and asks how could someone who has done so much in so few years be content to stare at a fire and wander around the countryside with someone as dull and inexperienced as her?

His only answer, and maybe one not so unexpected, was a very smug leer.


	11. Falter

Two YEARS. I give you all the right to hate me.

Disclaimer: Don't own Samurai Champloo…

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It's been raining for two days.

Mugen and I have to stick it out in a cave that's not too far from the path that we were traveling on. The rains have knocked out the bridge we needed to cross. We're heading to Edo, I guess. I'm not sure why. Sometimes I forget we are even on a journey. It's not like we're traveling with a goal in mind. I'm not sure if Mugen _ever_ has anything on his mind, anyway. Not anything appropriate that is. Ugh, sometimes he's just insufferable.

Outside, it seems that the storm is never going to end. The rain isn't cold though. It's that type of summer rain that makes you want to run around and dance. I wish I could but that would probably make Mugen think I am even more of a child than he does already. I think both of us are going a little crazy here waiting all day. He's acting really strange nowadays. Sometimes he ignores me for hours on end, running around jumping on rocks and swinging his sword at imaginary enemies. I guess he is practicing. Other times, when I am telling him a funny story I just thought of or when I am complaining about some thing or another, instead of his usual interjections or insulting jabs at my appearance or character he just looks at me. Like, really _looks_ at me. It's almost frightening. Mugen is just too intense sometimes. But I do…I do like him anyway. Or maybe because of his…intenseness? I don't know, it's just a little girl's fantasy all the same. I used to think that maybe he returned at least some of my feelings because he did come back to the village after the three of us split. He came back...to see me.

But that is all he has done. No come-ons, no leers other than the typical hey-I'm-a-pervert-but-not-particularly-interested-in-you look that makes Mugen what he is. Nothing. I've been resigned to it for a while now. I guess he just missed someone to nag on him and travel with him. A little sister maybe?

That only hurts a little, when I think about it. I try not to. Because I already know the answer. What am I but a little girl to him? How could he ever look at me the way I want him too? I know I am not much to look at compared to all the floozies he usually gapes over, but...

Sheesh, all this thinking makes me restless. I've wanted to go outside all day. Maybe I'll risk Mugen making fun of me and just run around in the rain for a bit.

Reaching up to the sky, I watch the droplets trickle down my arm. My sleeve soaks up water and becomes a deeper pink. It's wonderful. I can twirl around out here forever, I feel so free.

* * *

Damn, damn, damn.

This is not how it should be. It's all wrong, all of it, from the start. She's bothered me from the start and no amount of fighting it or ignoring her is going to make it go away. That little bitch.

(_That little bitch._) I've even started to handle those words with care, softly whispered in the dark, much like a caress that a man such as myself would never give to a woman, unless he really wanted to mess with her head when he left her the next morning. There's no end to the things that have changed. Or maybe I'm just now pickin' up the scent of it. Shit.

I still don't know why I came back and lifted her out of that town. I'm not taking her anywhere in particular. I don't _have_ anywhere to take her. I got nothin'. I'm wasting her time and for what? A good fuck? Some memories that'll end soon enough? What then? A dirtied little whore is what she'll become. She'll live in some town and get stuck in some whorehouse for the rest of her life. But why the fuck do I care? Why the fuck have I _started_ to care about shit like that?

Cause I know Fuu's no whore. Cause I know Fuu.

I hear her now, giggling, almost shrieking, just outside the entrance. (_Move. Look. Breathe_.)

I can see her. I see her.

She's soaked from the rain, water runnin' down her small body, kimono skin-tight, lips parted, breathless, fuck this, fuck this, she's lookin' at me with those eyes, that little bitch, fuck this I can't think…

And now I'm standing so close to her that I can smell her scent, I can see the little water droplets running down her face, her big eyes staring at me like I might eat her up. Fuck, I just might. I want her pinned up against those rocks and I want her looking at me like that while I…(_Breathe. Fuu, you little bitch, do you see what you have done to me?)_

Slowly, her small hands reach up and touch my chest and I shudder. So fucking _light_. She is barely touching me but..I…I can… (_her sleeve is brushing up against my skin, her lips part, and her eyes…her eyes…)_

I can see my reflection in her eyes. (_Monster. You're a god damned monster.) _

I have never fucking owned a good thing in my life. I'm not gonna start now.

I push Fuu away from me (_careful, careful) _and leave her, but I can't see shit cause of the rain. God damn the rain. It lies. Even after you wash away all this grime I'm still the same.


	12. Defiance

What?! Two in less than a week?!

As always, all reviews are appreciated. :D

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Do you _want_ me?

I'm serious, Mugen.

Shut up. Look at me. _Look at me. _We can't keep avoiding this, not this way.

What do you think I am? Some little doll? Some innocent child with a soft life ahead of her? How many times must I bleed to prove that I'm like you and not some high-class girl who has never worked for anything in her life?

Stop arguing with me and listen. _Listen_, you moron.

Do you think I care about what other people will say? Those same people left my family to starve when my father deserted us. Those same people watched callously as a little fourteen year old girl struggled to survive with her dying mother. They laughed because a samurai's daughter had sunk so low, working on her hands and knees just like some common peasant. Do you think I will ever want to share their world again?

I am not afraid. I know what you are, Mugen. You are not respectable, I know, but you have never lied to me about how you live, you have never pretended to be something you aren't. By doing just that, you are more honorable to me than most men. Why must you believe that you worthless in my eyes? Why are you so afraid of me?

You came back for me. You must care, even just a little bit. But still…I can't keep on going along like this if all you want from me is…I..I just can't. I refuse to follow you around like some lost puppy, waiting for you to…ugh, why are you such an idiot Mugen?!

I…I don't expect you to change your life for me. I don't expect a house or riches or nice clothes or even marriage. From what I have seen, those things are all meaningless. I just want…I don't know. I don't know what I want. But you need to know how I feel so you can stop acting stupid and _talk to me._


	13. Crow

This might be coming to an end soon kids. It's been a good run. :)

* * *

I will never tell her that I love her.

Heh, her head would probably explode and her eyes would start leaking and she would start fucking _chittering_ like her little rat friend if I ever did happen to clue her in. God damn, I wish _I _didn't know it sometimes.

Heh, that little bitch (_shh…softly now, oh my girl…)_, getting all in my face telling me how she _feels_ and what she's _been through_ and how "she's just like me". Ha, that just about killed me. And she was so serious too, throwing around words like "respectable" and "worthless" all the while posing like she was some grand fucking lady laying down the law!

Hah!

Although, that doesn't mean she was all wrong. I guess it was a good thing she got all fired up and cleared the air. It's good to know that I can make a quick pass at her and she won't get all bent out of shape because of it. Although why the fuck I give a shit about stuff like that now is—

Fine, alright, fine. I fucking know why I give a shit about how Fuu feels. I know why I start scowling over Fuu's head when I see how other men sometimes look at her. I know what it means when I look at her and can't breathe while she's snoring away by my side. But I don't have to fucking say it out loud, especially not to her. It's not good for her mind; she would probably giggle herself to death.

It's just that as soon as you start saying shit out loud, people start to notice. No one needs to know about the little bitch. No one needs to know how much I-…come on! Shit, do you know how many times I have had to save her god damn life! If they knew about this I would be killing those kidnapping bastards every fucking day. It's just not worth it.

So, maybe because it's the truth that I won't tell her. Cause I do, you know. But I'm not going to fucking say it.


End file.
